message to cats.

Hello cats. Thank you for visiting my website. I wish I knew how to make animated gifs so I could entertain you. All I can do, really, is write the word “yarn.” Which I have done for you above.

Craigslist Personals: Subcategory - Dinosaurs

Lonely Sinornithosaurus Wants To Make You Soar: I'm usually not good at describing myself but here it goes. I'm a big guy; charming; a gentleman; covered in feathers from head to toe. I'm not avian, but I can pass for avian if that's your thing. I'm not too classy (Read: PRETENTIOUS) for a little role-playing! I'd prefer that you were single, a little demure, and also feathered. It's not a deal-breaker if you're not, but I tend to do better with other feathered species. It's not that I'm a bigot or anything, I just find it hard to get excited about girls who don't have feathers. Anyway, if something I wrote here piqued your interest, there's more where that came from! Just make sure that when you reply to this ad you put in the subject line "I'M FEATHERED." That way I'll know you're a real (feathered!) girl who read my ad and not a robot, or SPAM.


Triceratops Seeks NICE Girl: OK, so my name literally means three-horned face. I'm getting this out of the way, because YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE the number of girls I meet who think I must be into some pretty kinky stuff. Honestly? When I come home from a hard day of battling T-Rexes (and actually, you lose a lot of friends that way), I just want a girl who will LISTEN, you know? I'm a loving guy; I'm ready to dote. I'm looking for a commitment. Also, just a pet peeve, but just because you have the word "tri" in your name does not mean you are automatically down for a three-way. I'm not ruling it out, I'm just sick of the assumptions. Write if you really want to get to know me for who I am.

Older Velociraptor Not Ready To Settle Down: Me: playful, small (but not everywhere, wink wink!), into restraint, more intelligent than most, GREAT metabolism, a little older. You: many of the qualities described above, young and healthy, pretty (not expecting gorgeous), willing to try new things. I've been around the block, but unfortunately have lost most of my former mates, due to I ate them. 

New In Town - Looking For A BIGGER Woman: For most of my life, my friends called me "Brontosaurus," and things were going fine. Now it's later in life, and everyone's calling me "Apatosaurus." Don't know why. No idea where the change came from. So I guess you could say I had a bit of an identity crisis, and I moved here. Long story short: I don't know ANYONE and I'm starting to feel lonely. I'm a little nervous about trying Craigslist, but after another miserable night of watching "Breaking Bad" alone and eating vegan tacos I thought, "What do I have to lose?" And so here I am. I'm really interested in larger ladies (39 tons or more). I'm a big guy, and I like to spend my evenings eating basically an entire tree/ row of shrubs. I've been with smaller girls before, but they say they want a "salad" and then they end up just spending the night watching me eat and texting their friends and frankly it's a turn-off. I need a girl who can carry her own weight. Is this you? If yes, then the heft of my heart is yours.

REAL WARNING!!! T-REX WANTS SLUTS ONLY - BEWARE: I'm just putting this note online because I answered an ad on here titled "Need A Leading Man For A Change?" with the promise of dinner and a movie with a classy, single carnivore. It sounded too good to be true and IT WAS. I don't want to say the things that this guy expects on a first date, but let's just say that his arms are WAY too short and his tongue is WAY too long and he is NOT looking for a long-term commitment. He's on here all the time and I just wanted other girls to know what this CREEP was up to. 

 

Streetcar

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